The introduction has started off smoothly and the thesis statement has stated clearly the main topic for the essay which is on Supercritical-water-cooled reactors (SCWR).
In the second paragraph, the sentence structure for the following two sentences "Having those new features in place..." and "Having learnt from the previous accidents..." can be changed to link the two sentence more smoothly.
Also for the second paragraph, the paragraph structure is argument-counter-rebuttal-argument-counter-rebuttal. I suggest the two points which is on safety for operation and safety due the misuse of nuclear for production of nuclear weapon to be seperated into two paragraph.
Overall, there is a good usage of transitional phrase to link up the whole essay. Lastly, there is few grammatical error in the essay.
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ReplyDeletecheehou said...
ReplyDeleteThanks joshua for his comments.
I realise that there are 2 sentence, one after another starting with 'having'. I could have link the both of them either with 'and' or 'beside'. Thus, it could be rephrase into the form ' besides learning from the previous accident, there are new features in place'.
As for the second paragraph, I have place both ' misuse of nuclear' and 'operation' in the same paragraph as they concerns about safety. On top of that, in order to be consistent on the style of my essay such as argument - counter argument and so on, I feel that the two points that are mentioned should be in the same paragraph.
Lastly, I would amend my grammar errors and take note of them in the future.